#ParentMaths is trending

#ParentMaths is trending

First, there was #GirlMaths, with its cost-per-wear/refund equals profit mantra. Now, we have #ParentMaths (including dad and mum maths), a viral trend that promotes some real and funny home truths about parenting, children, and the cost of both.


What is Parent Maths?


Parent Maths is the process of how parents calculate things. It’s commonly used by us all and on social media to validate those everyday parenting truths and common parenting pain points. 


“Parent math is trying to fit 8 hours of sleep into 3 hours and having one hour to get ready and spending 57 minutes on your kids & three minutes on you.”



“Parenting is 70% me yelling, 20% asking the kids why they’re yelling and 10% trying to find out where I left my coffee.”



“Can someone explain to me why 4-7 pm feels like 10 hours but 7 pm to 6 am feels like 10 minutes?!”



“Parent maths: If you have two kids and 15 toys, what are the chances they will fight over the same one?”




#ParentMaths is also used by kids and teens to emphasise how ‘extra’ us parents can be. 


For instance, when you tell your kids you’ve told them to do something a hundred times, and you’ve actually only told them twice.. Or when you say dinner is ready but it’s still 10 minutes away, or when you try to make your kids go to bed early two weeks before school starts to get into a routine. This is all #ParentMaths


While #GirlMaths favours questionable financial behaviour, like seeing a purchase on a marketplace as a win or a refund as making money, #ParentMaths is about all the internal financial and general calculations that parents have to make once they have kids. Like #GirlMaths, #ParentMaths is a TikTok sensation, with the hashtag gathering 60 million views to date.


Parenting and time issues


One huge pain point when you have kids is time. If you’ve ever had to wake up, feed, dress, find shoes, and get kids out the door by a certain point, you’ll know how much internal planning and calculation you have to do, and this is where Parent Maths comes in.


“Okay, so it starts at 9. We need to be there by 8.45, so we have to leave by 8.10. Start loading the car by 8. Eat breakfast at 7.30. Plan to wake up at 7. Actually, maybe 6.30…#parentmaths."



“Parenthood offers you the unique experience of realising that you are already late for something that doesn’t start for four hours.”



On a more serious note, #ParentMaths also cleverly spotlights the mental load parents face with pressures on their time.


“One kid is one kid. Two kids is two kids. Three kids is seventeen kids. #parentmaths"



“Parent maths is taking 20 minutes to make a meal for your child and them taking 2 to 5 business days to eat it.”



“Doing laundry everyday to keep up with laundry, but skipping one day of laundry puts you behind 27 loads of laundry.”




The truth about parenting and money


The cost of raising a child also ranks high with #ParentMaths, probably because from birth to age 18, it costs couples more than £160,000. That's an average of approximately £9,000 to £11,000 a year.  


Given that the average UK family has two children, the average cost of bringing up a couple of kids could be closer to half a million pounds from birth to age 18 – and beyond.


#ParentMaths incorporates the financial woes of raising kids while the cost of living still bites. You know that painful feeling when you buy 6 bananas, and they get eaten in one day, so you buy 8 more, and no one eats them! Or how being a parent means shopping for new clothes and coming back with nothing for yourself but new clothes for your kids and a treat for the dog!


“Welcome to parenthood. I hope you like hearing there’s nothing to eat after you’ve spent your life savings at the grocery store.”



“Sure, kids cost you £11, 000 annually, but think about all the money you save from no longer having a social life.”



“You save X for college on a Y basis, earning 2% interest. But will college even EXIST in 2040? Be sure to cite primary sources. #parentmaths”




“As a parent, you have 10 chargers. Your child ‘borrows’ 2 of your chargers, but now you can only find 2 of your chargers. 10 -2 = 2 #parentmaths”




“Parent math is getting your kiddos’ nice clothing 1-2 sizes too big so it fits them for more seasons. 😅 #parentmaths”




Had enough of #GirlMaths, #ParentMaths and #MumMaths? Well, now you can look forward to the next big thing: #DogMaths (yes, really)!


“If I have 15 balls and one goes under the couch, I know I have zero balls. When you leave for three hours, it’s three hours. When you leave for three minutes, it’s also three hours. Dinner is always at 5 pm, but when it’s at 5.03, you are two hours late. When it’s at 4 pm, you’re also two hours late. When one dog walks in front of the house, it equals 40 dragons that are trying to attack us. #DogMaths”

@Treacle the Cockapoo

Enough with all the maths viral trends, you may be thinking, and we agree—it’s all too much. We need a lie-down.


Written by Anita Naik Published Jun 25, 2024 ● 3 mins